"The world was waiting just for you..."

My dog, Sadie May, was put down on Sunday.

This has really effected me deeply. She was my best friend. She was there for me and was a loyal pal. We rescued her from the pound on October 7, 1997. She, like me, wasn't warm at first. We both took our time to get to know one another and both agreed that we were the bosses of Erin.

Sadie was a goof. She would do the best tricks. I would say "What do we do in Vietnam?" and she would get down and do a low crawl for a treat. It was the funniest trick and a great time. She was always there to hang out with me. I'm a homebody and just like staying in and watching television, writing on the computer, watching movies and reading. Sadie was either laying on my feet or right there beside me. She was a big fan of whatever I was obsessed with at the time. She never judged me for being a little weird or trying to do something outside the box. If I cried, she was there to lend a soft ear and a wag of her tail. She didn't lick, unless you had soap or peanut butter on your hand. She loved pillows, blankets and couches. "Sunny spots" were areas of the house that she would frequent and boy was she obnoxious when it came within 15 minutes of her food time.

I guess we get used to having our little furry friends under foot. I don't think we take them for granted, but we sure don't devote as much time to them as they do to us. I can't think of any times, even if she had been at the kennel, when I felt Sadie was mad at me. Though I definitely pitched fits towards her.

I'm going to miss giving her nicknames... I think she racked up at least 100. My "Derz" as I would affectionately refer to her, was a shy soul. She was a great story. She was thrown from a moving truck. Rescued by a guy. Rescued by us and enjoyed a life filled with treats and adventures. Though she shook like a leaf in the car, she would give anything to go to a lacrosse game or a road trip with the family.

All of my friends knew Sadie. They would show her love and she loved them. Carol scared the shit out of her one time and we laughed for hours. She would only bark twice at the sight of John then realizing it was one of her favorite people. She hated tall bald men, Pop pop never quite won her over... Pa did... with one swift swat with a newspaper to set her straight. She loved him. She was there for me when they passed.

I sit here with tears rolling down my cheek because I don't like the finite nature of death. I don't know what happens to us or our animal friends when we stop ticking. I don't know what happens at all. I feel like I'm being melodramatic, but how else to you act when you lose something that has stolen such a large chunk of your heart?

I know I wish Sadie were here watching MTM with me. I know she wouldn't care how hard I laughed or how many times we'd watch the same episodes just so I could memorize the details I would like to know inside and out.

I was able to say goodbye to her. She even skyped and reacted to my voice.

I am going to miss her a lot and this week is going to be hard, especially since she's who I'd call upon for a snuggle.

I guess I can't say anything else. I'd just go on for hours. I've posted this song here that always makes me think of Sadie. It has her name in it and it's hilarious... the reason why it reminds me of her.
The song is "Sexy Sadie" by the Beatles. I think it's great because Sadie was anything but sexy. She was funny, quirky and cute. She hated to be snuggled but loved to snuggle on her terms. I respect that.

This is for you Sadie. I miss you already and I love you so much.